She Only Wishes She Was A Gryffindor
by Petrified Dog
Summary: Padma Patil wished she was a Gryffindor. So she sets out to become one through the magic of movies.


**She Only Wishes She was a Gryffindor**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter or anything to do with Harry Potter.

**Chapter 1 - The Dastardly Beginning**

Parvati and Padma are twins. They look identical and share the same last name. They even dress in coordinating outfits! If they stand beside each other you would never be able to tell the difference because they're practically interchangeable! Or they would be, except for one little glitch.

Parvati is in Gryffindor and Padma… well…. She only wishes she was.

Ever since that fateful moment when the sorting hat was placed on their heads, a rift has grown between them. So big is this rift that Parvati routinely forgets her sister even exists! She never mentions her to her Gryffindor friends for three years!

Now, however Parvati cannot ignore her sister. Oh no! For her sister has committed a dastardly crime. The crime that has been committed is so dastardly that it is not suitable for younger audiences. Viewer discretion is advised.

Let's go back to the beginning shall we? Let's travel to a land far away, in which may witness the crime for ourselves.

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"NEXT!" The man yelled. What a long day it had been. What he wouldn't give for nice cup of coffee. Oh, the coffee in his mind smelled so good. He could taste it going down his throat. The hot, sweet yet spicy liquid that made him so happy it felt like his organs were going to burst. Of course, the stuff from across the street wasn't nearly as good as that Tim Horton's coffee. Damn those Canadians and their drugs!

Suddenly, his inner rant was interrupted by someone clearing their throat loudly. He snapped back to reality. Oh! There goes gravity!

"Umm, are you okay? I'm here for my audition for the role of Hermione. May I begin?"

The man looked at the girl in front of him. He was startled to see Padma Patil standing there. Oh yes, the one and only Padma Patil. They had casted the real her because they couldn't find anyone else. Seriously, who wants to play Padma in a movie? She isn't even cool. She has like four lines and then her part in the story is over. He could see why even the real Padma wanted to audition for another role. Unfortunately that role was already taken.

"Umm, I'm sorry but this is the audition for Voldemort," the man began but was interrupted by a gasp from Padma, "Er, I mean, He Who Must Not Be Named. The role for Hermione is already taken. In fact we didn't even have auditions for the role this time because Emma Watson is still playing her. You're welcome to try for Voldemort though." The man said.

Padma sighed. She hated being herself. She wasn't cool. Her sister Parvati was cool, with all her popular Gryffindor friends. Why did Parvati get the cool role?

You see, Pavarti also played herself in the movie, because she was the best person for the job, not because no one wanted the role. Oh yeah, Parvati was _that_ good.

"Well, can I least switch roles with my sister? I'm sure I would do a much better job! I can be a cool Gryffindor, no problem!" Padma said eagerly.

The man sighed. Every year Padma came here asking to be someone in Gryffidor. First it was Harry Potter, then Dean Thomas, and then Lavender Brown. Imagine how funny it would be if Parvati and her best friend looked exactly the same! But this year she asked to be Hermione or her switch roles with Parvati. It was really becoming too much to handle and he couldn't fire her. Who else would take the role? It was crucial that they have someone to play her in the Goblet of Fire since she goes with Ron and all. Or maybe they could get Hermione to go with Ron. The movies were already so screwed up anyways.

While the man was pondering all this, Padma was sighing to herself and thinking aloud.

"If only I could be a Gryffindor. Then I'd be cool. People would adore me for my bravery and courage. I'd have cool friends like Parvati. Oh, why can't I just be in Gryffindor!"

_That's it! _Thought the man.

And that's when the man got an idea. A terrible, cunning idea. An, idea that would change the world forever! His idea was so great that it would enlist the anger of many of Harry Potter fans worldwide.

He decided to make Padma Patil a Gryffindor.

To Be Continued...

A/N: The Goblet of Fire was hysterically funny but there were a number of things in it that bothered me, especially Padma being a Gryffindor. Someone should shoot whoever authorised that.


End file.
